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TALES OF AN ASTHMATIC GOALKEEPER

by JESSE KRAKOW

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1.
My baby once told me that she didn't love me I said is that all you gotta tell? She gonna you know it, sugar don't blow You're putting our love in hell I said I'm only trying please you And I'll never letcha go She said I will never ever leave you But I need a little more I said all I want is a little of your love And I gotta show you how Because our love is a matter of trust And I need your body now I'll fit inside you like a glove All I want is a little of your love Well I've looked around the world for lots of girls And I finally found my aim Well I love you and all I think about is us And I'm tired of playing silly love games I said I'm only trying to please you And put us in a better place And nothing would make me happier Than a smile on your pretty little face, you know Oh, how your eyes are blue Makes me believe that everything is true Oh you're the one thing I can do I love you
2.
There is a thing that you can write on They call it Mr. Blood But you better be careful of the typewriter Typewriter Of Blood Of Blood There is a man on cartoons and They call him Elmer Fudd But I bet that he won't laugh at the Typewriter Of Blood Of Blood There is a man that's very scary and It turns you into mud So you better be careful, really careful of the Typewriter Of Blood Of Blood Typewriter Of Blood Of Blood
3.
ROBOT KILL 02:56
There was a strong man, they think his name is Bill But he was the wrong man, his name was Robot Kill He has lasers shooting out from his hands And he'll shoot anyone he can But if you see him, you better hide in the sand 'Cause the only one he likes is The Jet Band Robot Kill! There was a strong man, they think his name is Will But he was the wrong man, his name is Robot Kill He has lasers shooting out of his head They're orange and they're But if you see him, you will wind up dead 'Cause the only one he likes is The Jet Band Robot Kill! The only one he likes, who thinks he's a star Is his special friend "The Magical Guitar" Play it loud now! Robot? (Hello) I command thee You (Me?) Must (What?) Rock Rock! His layers shooting out of his eye It will make you cry But if you see him, perhaps you will die He has lasers shooting out of his heart I don't know where it starts But if you see him, he will tear you apart 'Cause the only one he likes is The Jet Band Robot Kill! I'm the strong man In the Jet Band
4.
NINJA FAITH 02:52
There is a guy dressed black But guess what, he's coming back He's gonna put you in your place BUT Don't be scared of ninja faith Please tell us if you are scared of ninja faith Ninja Faith NInja There is a guy dressed in blue He doesn't have to wear a show Maybe he comes from outer space BUT Don't be scared of ninja faith Please tell us if you are scared of ninja faith Ninja Faith NInja There is a guy dressed in red I think he doesn't have a head He's gonna kick you till you're dead BUT Don't be scared of ninja faith Please tell us if you are scared of ninja faith Ninja Faith NInja
5.
SHAKE 04:52
I'm gonna shake till I wear myself out I'm gonna shake til I scream and shout I'm gonna shake but I won't do anything wrong I'm gonna shake very very long Still the people don't wanna shake I guess they're afraid of being a fake So just shake Everyone should And that's the truth When I say everyone should shake I'm talking to you (he's talking to you) Just shake I'm gonna shake all across the land I'm gonna shake on water and sand I'm gonna shake all across the floor I'm gonna shake til I got nothing more You should shake I'm recommending 'Cause when you shake it's never-ending Just shake Everyone should And that's the truth When I say everyone should shake I'm talking to you (he's talking to you) Just shake You can shake on the ground Get up, get up shake all around Just shake Now some people don't wanna dance I guess they're afraid of taking the chance They need to shake for an obvious reason Because you can't shake in every season Now shaking a real easy thing Cause when you shake you don't have to sing You just shake Everyone should shake It's real fun When I say "everyone should shake" I say that to everyone (he says that to everyone) Everyone should And that's the truth When I say everyone should shake I'm talking to you (he's talking to you) Just shake Shake
6.
Ths This This song Let me tell you something about me I play the best you must believe This guitar This guitar is the best in the world Let me tell you that you are my girl, yeah This guitar Oh yes you are Oh yes it it With This Guitar It's an Explorer it's black and white If you play it will drive you outta sight, yes This guitar This guitar is real loud If you play it you won't look like a fool This guitar Well no you won't With this guitar I can go anywhere, I can follow my dreams I can do anything you must believe Are you ready to hear me play? I really hope that you can play But if you can't then that's ok This guitar I hope you like this song 'cause it's a lie And now it's time to say goodbye This guitar Oh yes it is With This Guitar I can do anything if I put my mind to it Whatever it is I know I can do it

about

These are songs written in between 1982 and 1988 when I was between the ages 5 and 11. I'm pretty amazed that my parents saved these.
In case you're interested, I have like 100 more like this except much worse.

credits

released April 12, 2021

All songs written by Jesse Krakow sometime in the 80's, forgotten about in the 90's/00's'/10's, and recorded for no reason in the 20's. I am sorry.

All vocals and instruments by Jesse Krakow, sadly.

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Jesse Krakow West Orange, New Jersey

Hi, I'm Jesse. I've worked w/ Shudder To Think, The Shaggs, Bootsy Collins, John Zorn, Jello Biafra, Ruins, Kate Pierson, Bill Laswell, Paul Rudd, Julee Cruise, Nona Hendrix, The BK Philharmonic & many more - recorded for Sony, Atlantic, Tzadik, Alternative Tentacles, TeamLove, New Amsterdam, Cuneiform, Relapse, Crucial Blast & many more -performed in 15 countries - and change a mean diaper. ... more

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